The Morning After
by goosequill
Summary: Harry and Ron wake up after the Yule Ball in an interesting position, and try to puzzle out what happened the night before. Slash Warning. Please Read and Review. Rated for nudity and inexplicit sexual content.


Disclaimer: I own nothing whatsoever. Ron, Harry, the Yule Ball, the Triwizard Tournament, and all other such concepts belong to J. K. Rowling.

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Dawn began to reach its bright fingers over the hilly green horizon. The endless sprawl of the Forbidden Forest was slowly illuminated by waking sun. The sunbeams cut through the chilly December air, and streamed down onto the hillsides of Hogwarts' grounds.

Numerous decorations, ornaments, and the odd passed out student were scattered over the lawns. After the Yule Ball, the chaotic scenes of merriment and reveling remained only as empty bottles of butterbeer, loose streamers, and other party accoutrement strewn over the grass. Here and there, students who had found other beverages were lying on the ground, asleep.

Were we to wander across these quiet, dawn-lit hills, we might see some interesting sights. Here we see a boy sprawled out devoid of any clothing whatsoever. To our left, a girl still clutching a flagon of Firewhiskey. Faintly glowing pixies send out sporadic pulses of light from beneath the grass. As we proceed along the main path, down towards the quieter, more private areas near the Forest, these sights are less common, Instead, we see Marcus Flint lying on top of his girlfriend, Cho with her arms around a slumbering Cedric, and many other similar couples. But it not here that we shall stop.

No, dear friend, we continue to stroll beneath the silent trees towards even more secluded glens, at the foot of the hills that make up Hogwarts' grounds. Here, beneath a bench by the lake, this is where we shall pause, and observe for a moment. Here, we find a most interesting sight. We shall now retreat into the background, and allow life to take its course.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, lay on the rough ground, devoid of clothing. His face is peppered with lipstick marks, of a brilliant red shade. These kisses are not limited to his face, far from it. They spread down his chest, along his arms, up and down his legs, and so on. Next to him, with his head on Harry's shoulder is Ron Weasley, his best friend. Ron too, is in a state of dishabille. One arm is thrown over Harry's chest. Strangely enough, Ron's lips are covered with a particularly brilliant shade of red lipstick, once well applied, but now very much smeared. Neither boy's clothes are anywhere to be seen, nor are their wands. Several bottles of Firewhiskey are strewn about. The boys are sleeping peacefully, their breath softly filling and emptying their chests.

Suddenly, Harry began to stir. He murmured softly, and his long feminine eyelashes fluttered a bit.

"Oh, my head…" he moaned.

Slowly, he moved his head a little, and opened his eyes. When he say his nudity, he gave a start. When he saw Ron laying next to him, also naked, he cried out in alarm. Harry did his best to extricate himself from under his friend. This, in turn, awakened Ron, who reacted similarly. The two boys sprang up, and, finding themselves without clothes and completely alone, they turned back to each other. They immediately turned away once more. Slowly, each's gaze returned to the other.

"What's-" began Harry.

"I don't know." Ron said, with finality.

"Well, what were we…"

"I don't know."

"What are we…"

"I don't know."

"You're not helping matters, Ron."

"What do you want me to say? I've just woken up, fuckin' naked, lying on top of you, with a splitting headache. I don't know how I got there, and I'm not sure I _want_ to know." Ron said vehemently.  
"Yeah, well, we've got to figure this out somehow. How did we get here? What happened last night? Where did our stuff go? And why do you have lipstick on?"

"No, mate, _you're_ the one with lipstick on. All over your body. Look at you."

"No, Ron, on your lips." Harry said emphatically. "You've got bright red lipstick on."

"No I don't", Ron said desperately.

"Yes, you do."

Ron raised a hand to his lips, and saw the bright red tint. "You're fucking kidding. Please tell me it's not…"

"It is. The exact same shade." Harry had matched the bit on Ron's finger to a lip mark on his arm. "Ron, you don't think…"

"No, no, we wouldn't have. Impossible. It's got to be a prank by Fred and George. We wouldn't. Besides the obvious considerations, we're best friends. Never. Never in a million years."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Harry shifted on the ground, and then winced. As he did so, his eyes widened.

"What is it?" Ron asked.

"My, um, my arse feel really sore. And my throat feels really weird."

Ron's eyes widened as well. He looked at Harry.

"Maybe… maybe we should try to remember last night." Harry said hesitantly.

"Yeah…" Ron said miserably.

"Okay… well, Parvati and Padma stormed off, and started dancing with those Durmstrang boys, right?"

"Yeah."

"Then we were talking about giants for a while. Then what?"

"Then, er- then we went outside, and Fred and George sort of brought us over to their group, where they had that keg of Firewhiskey…"

"yeah. And they were teasing us because our dates had left us."

"Yeah. We drank a lot, didn't we?"

"Yeah. D'you remember anything after that?" Harry asked.

"I dunno. I remember Fred and George starting some drinking games, with forfeits and whatnot, but I'm not sure…" Ron trailed off awkwardly.

"I don't remember much after that…"

"Me neither, just a lot of Firewhiskey." Ron said. The light now began to reach them over the trees, and as it hit Ron's eyes, he grimaced. "Oh, man that hurts."

"My head is killing me…" Harry moaned.

"I'll kill Fred and George for this." Ron said miserably, holding his head.

As the light played havoc with their budding hangovers, the boys awkwardly looked around for a clue as to what to do next. Harry looked at Ron.

"Ron?"

"yeah?"

"d'you, d'you think we might have…" Harry trailed off meaningfully.

"I dunno. I hope not, but, we drank so damn much." Ron said quietly, rubbing his eyes.

'Could we have been that drunk?"

"I dunno, mate. Firewhiskey does weird stuff to you. And with Fred and George there, Merlin knows what they'd have put us up to. _They_ can hold their liquor, God damn 'em."

"Would they really be that evil?" Harry asked, incredulously.

"You've no idea. You know that Muggle drug, what's it called, Viagra?"

"Yeah…" Harry said.

"Yeah, they spiked Oliver's pumpkin juice with it. Ordinarily not so bad. But it was right before a day-long flying marathon." Ron grimaced pointedly.

Harry gave a little laugh, then realized what that might mean for them.

"So, we could have… They could have…" Harry said slowly.

"Yeah…"

"So, what do we do now?"

"Beats me. We gotta find our clothes and wands, first, then we can try to figure out what to do about last night."

Harry started looking around for clothes or wands. He didn't find anything. But what he did find made him quite distressed.

"Ron!" He said nervously.

"Mmm?" said Ron.

"C'mere."

"What?"

Harry had found a letter, neatly placed in an envelope, addressed to Messrs. R. B. Weasley and H. J. Potter. They opened it, and read;

_Dear Lovebirds,_

_We hope you've enjoyed your morning thus far. We know we enjoyed last night, and we're sure you did too. Who knew two fourth years could be so experienced? Amazing what Firewhiskey and aphrodisiacs can do. Harry, we hope you're not too sore. Ron used you pretty hard last night, if you don't recall. Don't know that we ever pictured you as a bottom, though you looked like you were enjoying it._

_Your clothes and wands can be found, neatly folded and carefully placed, on your beds in the Gryffindor boy's dormitory._

_As you two are no doubt eager to recall in every detail the events of last night, allow us to inform you of our marvelous new business enterprise, F. & G. Weasley Wizarding Photography_._ We here enclose a sample of our work for your enjoyment. Please meet us today, by the Quidditch pitch, to discuss business terms._

_Once again, hoping your enjoying your morning and your hangovers,_

_Very Sincerely_

_Fred and George Weasley_

From within the envelope fell a black and white snapshot. It showed Ron and Harry, both naked, Ron standing, Harry kneeling, etc.

Harry and Ron looked at each other, and said simultaneously.

"Shit!"

* * *

If you'd like me to continue this story, please leave reviews. Otherwise, I'll just leave it as a oneshot. Works either way.


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